Visiting
Intercare Corporate Group Inc. (Calgary) has put together an excellent online book called Visiting Techniques. Topics include intergenerational visiting, how to communicate during visits, saying goodbye, gifts, what to do on a visit, and more.
Hospital Visiting Do's and Don'ts
The following do's and don'ts will depend on the severity of the illness. At all times take your direction from the patient and hospital staff.
Do's
• Visit frequently but keep visits brief.
• Let the patient take the lead in shaking hands, touching.
• Stand or sit where the patient can see you easily.
• The side of the bed is more suitable than the foot of the bed.
• Give the patient freedom to talk freely, and listen carefully as he does so.
• Take appropriate precautions against contagious diseases.
• Be cheerful.
• Be reassuring and comforting.
• Help the patient to relax.
• Recognize that anxieties, discouragement, guilt, frustrations, and uncertainties may be present.
• Be aware that the routines of the hospital become the patient's routines. The outside world can be far away from the patient's day-to-day reality. (Does it really matter that the milk in the fridge went bad?)
• Respect the patient.
• Ask the patient what they might like to have with them.
• Respect other patients in the room.
• Respect all hospital workers. The housekeepers especially! They're the ones having to "mop up" after accidents.
• Be aware of regulations for bringing flowers. Some rooms restrict flowers.
• Bring "get well" cards, notes, and messages from family members.
• Tell the truth when asked a question - especially about their care. Telling the truth doesn't necessarily mean providing all the details... For example "Oh yes, your doctor told me she would be talking with you about that..." Don't share information about the diagnosis; this is the physician's role, however do not lie.
• Laugh and provide a positive ambiance.
• Discuss what's happening in the world.
• Bring a change of sleepwear, sweater, bed jacket, housecoat, or other personal garments. Hospital supplied gowns are plentiful and easily laundered. A favourite (washable) sweater or bed jacket can personalize the anonymity of the hospital garb. Be observant when a fresh change of clothes is needed.
• Bring a favourite blanket or afghan (washable).
• Bring a favourite treat - ice cream, milk shake, etc (depending on diet restrictions).
• Bring them a watch.
• Bring easy to handle books, magazines, newspapers. Large print books are nice.
• Bring reading glasses if required.
• Supply a battery operated radio with earphones (check with the staff first).
• Bring notepaper, pen, envelopes, stamps, their address book.
• Ask them if they need any personal care products.
• Ask if you can escort them to a patient lounge or other "trip" around the hospital. (check with the nurses first)
• Ask if they want you to inform anyone of their hospital stay.
• Bring their personal mail.
• Bring a family photo. (non breakable if framed)
• Offer throat soothers (peppermints, etc).
• Offer to get them a hot cup of coffee/tea! (check with nurses first)
• Ensure they have some cash; quarters for the phone.
• Keep promises.
• Be observant of medication changes, needs. A patient that requires oxygen that has "forgotten" to put their nasal cannula in should be brought to the attention of the nursing staff.
• Limit the number of visitors at a time.
• Upon arrival, check at the reception desk.
• Remember the patient has the right to request no visitors!
Don'ts
• Don't wear perfume (or strong aftershave)! Overpowering perfume can give people a headache.
• Don't remove their belongings unless they make this request.
• Don't stay longer than the patient is comfortable with. Leave before they are exhausted!
• Don't discuss your personal problems. (or anyone else's)
• Don't belittle their illness. It is real, and it is scary.
• Don't remove an uneaten meal. The nurses need to know their food intake.
• Don't assume the staff knows of a particular patient need. Seniors will often not ask about something they are fretting about.
• Don't speak in an unnatural tone of voice.
• Don't talk about your own past illnesses.
•Don't force the patient to talk. Your silent presence can often be very meaningful.
• Don't visit when you are sick. If you are concerned, check with the nurses; ask for a face mask.
• Don't talk loudly.
• Don't sit, lean on, or jar the bed.
• Don't visit during meals.
• Don't cut up their food or assist them with their feeding unless asked.
• Don't whisper to family members or medical personnel within sight of patient.
• Don't share information about the diagnosis; this is the physician's role.
• Don't question the patient about the details of the illness.
• Don't tell the patient or family how to decide when presented with medical options (but help them to decide).
• Don't criticize the hospital, treatment, or the doctors.
• Do not enter a room that has a closed door or a "no visitor" sign. Check with the nurses first. Likewise if their individual privacy curtain is pulled around their bed.
• Don't gossip. Hospitals have thin walls! You never know who is in the bed across the room.
• Do not lie.
Visiting the patient at home
• Telephone before the visit to make sure you call at a convenient time.
• Offer to pick up any needed groceries or other household supplies.
• Try to visit when there will be time for private discussion.
• Offer to make a cup of tea. Don't expect to be waited on.
• Keep visits short.